Steve and I.....eloped! :D
Bahahahahahahahha! Juuuuuuust kidding....... Or am I? I told that one to Dim. He didn't like it. But Soda got pretty jealous of me. I always knew something was up here.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sup.
Wowza. Haven't posted in a while. Well I thought I'd tell ya'all the good news.
Steve and I.....eloped! :D
Bahahahahahahahha! Juuuuuuust kidding....... Or am I? I told that one to Dim. He didn't like it. But Soda got pretty jealous of me. I always knew something was up here.
Steve and I.....eloped! :D
Bahahahahahahahha! Juuuuuuust kidding....... Or am I? I told that one to Dim. He didn't like it. But Soda got pretty jealous of me. I always knew something was up here.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Fantastic News.....
This month I decided to finally grow a pair and talk to my dad about my whole...."situation". I had been postponing it in the fear that my father would murder Dimitri and use him as a cadaver for those wannabe Grey's Anatomy med school students.
I met up with my father at the hospital cafeteria during his lunch break, and I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke. He was going to be so disappointed in me. What if he brought up my mom? I know she would be sad if she were still around and I didn't need to hear it from him too.
After a few minutes of chit chat, I decided to slowly ease the conversation my way. "Hey dad...remember those pregnancy tests I got here for April Fool's day?"
"Uh huh, what about them?" he asked never looking up from his salad, which was good for me so he couldn't see how close I was to throwing up all over the table.
"Uh...how...how accurate do you think they were?" I questioned trying to keep my tone light and curious.
He looked up and laughed. "Oh honey, those tests were way past expired. They were going to be thrown out, that's the only reason I let you take them. I wouldn't trust those for an accurate result. Why are you asking? Think you have a little bun in the oven?" He said the last part jokingly and with a wink. I felt as if a tremendous weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I wanted to cry, scream out with joy, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I was 100% sure....aaaaaand far away from my father. :P
I forced a laugh. "Nah just curious..a friend of mine wanted to use one of the extra ones I have, so I just wanted to be sure."
After I left, I rushed immediately to store, got a new test and got home ASAP. I waited for the test results and it felt like it was hours, though in reality it was only a few minutes. I nervously glanced at the results and started to tear up as soon as I realized what it said: negative. I shakily picked up the phone to call Dimitri at work. "Hey babe, I have some fantastic news to tell you.........."
I met up with my father at the hospital cafeteria during his lunch break, and I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke. He was going to be so disappointed in me. What if he brought up my mom? I know she would be sad if she were still around and I didn't need to hear it from him too.
After a few minutes of chit chat, I decided to slowly ease the conversation my way. "Hey dad...remember those pregnancy tests I got here for April Fool's day?"
"Uh huh, what about them?" he asked never looking up from his salad, which was good for me so he couldn't see how close I was to throwing up all over the table.
"Uh...how...how accurate do you think they were?" I questioned trying to keep my tone light and curious.
He looked up and laughed. "Oh honey, those tests were way past expired. They were going to be thrown out, that's the only reason I let you take them. I wouldn't trust those for an accurate result. Why are you asking? Think you have a little bun in the oven?" He said the last part jokingly and with a wink. I felt as if a tremendous weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I wanted to cry, scream out with joy, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I was 100% sure....aaaaaand far away from my father. :P
I forced a laugh. "Nah just curious..a friend of mine wanted to use one of the extra ones I have, so I just wanted to be sure."
After I left, I rushed immediately to store, got a new test and got home ASAP. I waited for the test results and it felt like it was hours, though in reality it was only a few minutes. I nervously glanced at the results and started to tear up as soon as I realized what it said: negative. I shakily picked up the phone to call Dimitri at work. "Hey babe, I have some fantastic news to tell you.........."
Saturday, April 30, 2011
April Fools
April Fools Day. The one day where the Two-Bits of the world have an excuse to pull stupid pranks. It's also the day where the girlfriends of the world, like moi, prank the shit out of their amazing boyfriends because we can always withhold sex if they don't forgive us :D
So I needed a good prank, a prank that would overshadow everyone else's. Naturally, I went to the great Miss Kitty for her wise advice and guidance in the art of creative pranking. [Sidenote: Kitty, are you interested in the 'joke-itorial arts'? Please tell me you get that reference. :P ]
After a few minutes of brainstorming, we came up with the rather simple master plan:
1st) Have Katie pee on a pregnancy test
2nd) Tell Dimitri it's my test.
3rd) Enjoy how freaked out he gets.
4th) Sadly have to end the joke, and admit the truth. (How long I waited would have to be determined on the spot.)
So everything went fine at first. Katie peed on the test, and after she left Kitty tossed one at me. "Pee on it." she demanded, her eyes never leaving the Friends marathon that was on TV.
"....Why?" I asked cautiously, wondering if Grandma Liz's desire for grandchildren had warped Kitty's mind as well.
"So you can have a test to prove that you aren't pregnant, Sherlock." she said in that matter-of-fact Kitty way. "I thought you were the smart Winston cousin." she mumbled under her breath.
"Bitch." I said while chucking the box at her head.
She slowly turned her head and gave me one of the scariest looks I've ever seen. "Whore." she hurled it back.
"Skank." I hit her smack dab in the middle of her forehead. We continued on like this for a few minutes until she finally got her lazy ass off the couch and shoved me in the bathroom.
After I took the test, I left it in the bathroom and chilled with Kitty on the couch. "Hey." Kitty said after a few minutes. "Shouldn't you go get the test and hide it, so Dimwit doesn't see?"
"True." I said and headed to the bathroom. I picked up the test and my eyes glanced quickly over the result. Positive. "Thank God." I thought to myself, not quite registering what it said. Wait! WHAT?!? I looked again and my eyes saw right. The test said positive. I felt like I was going to pass out. How is this even possible? There weren't any signs! What am I going to tell Dimitri? Will I even tell him?!? What if it's just wrong? But what if it's right?!? I gripped the counter and saw my face pale in the mirror. I had to act, and act fast. I had cracked the test in my counter gripping process so I just snapped it into two pieces completely. I put them in two separate pieces of tissue and shoved them in the bottom of the garbage. I leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath. I could feel the tears starting to roll down my face when Kitty called my name. "Jelly? Are you coming back anytime soon? I don't want to keep this on pause for forever." I wiped away my tears and put on a fake smile as I left the bathroom, and headed towards the living room.
"I hid the test really well. No one will find it." I smiled, telling the truth without telling everything. I couldn't tell her right now, could I? I don't even know if it was accurate? My mind was still a mess. "Awesome. Dim is totally going to freak out." Kitty said grinning. "Yeah he probably will." I said as I sat down on the couch, mentally planning what I was going to do.
~~~ LATER THAT DAY~~~~
It was show time. Well sort of. I had Katie's test in my pocket and still wasn't sure if I was going to pretend it was a joke or if I was going to tell the truth. Technically I would be telling the truth, but if I went through with it would be the big decision.
"Honey, you may want to sit down." I said calmly to Dimitri. As expected, a confused look crossed his face but he did it anyways. "What's going on Jels?" he asked slowly, as if afraid to know the answer. I sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed his hand. I felt panic rising in my stomach. It's now or never, I thought to myself. I looked into his eyes and said "I'm pregnant." It was if time stood still as I waited for his reaction. He looked speechless, scared and confused. I saw his face and knew I couldn't tell the truth, at least not when I wasn't sure. "April Fools!" I exclaimed on instinct. He let out a sigh of relief and grinned as he gave me a huge hug. "You really had me scared there babe." He gave me a kiss, and I said "Yeah it was a pretty good joke." all the while wondering what hole I just dug myself into.
~~~~~ LATER ON ~~~~~
I was pacing around the apartment, freaking out. I was so lost. So confused. I felt like the hugest liar in the universe. I had to talk to someone, and I knew exactly the someone I had to talk to. I knocked on Kitty's bedroom door and impatiently waited for her to answer. "What's up Jelatin?" she asked curiously. "Can I.....can we talk for a couple minutes." I asked quietly looking at the ground. "Yeah of course." she put her arm around me and we sat on her bed. "What's wrong?" Kitty asked holding my hand. That's when the tears started to come. I looked into her eyes, her face blurry from my tears. "I think..I think I'm pregnant."
So I needed a good prank, a prank that would overshadow everyone else's. Naturally, I went to the great Miss Kitty for her wise advice and guidance in the art of creative pranking. [Sidenote: Kitty, are you interested in the 'joke-itorial arts'? Please tell me you get that reference. :P ]
After a few minutes of brainstorming, we came up with the rather simple master plan:
1st) Have Katie pee on a pregnancy test
2nd) Tell Dimitri it's my test.
3rd) Enjoy how freaked out he gets.
4th) Sadly have to end the joke, and admit the truth. (How long I waited would have to be determined on the spot.)
So everything went fine at first. Katie peed on the test, and after she left Kitty tossed one at me. "Pee on it." she demanded, her eyes never leaving the Friends marathon that was on TV.
"....Why?" I asked cautiously, wondering if Grandma Liz's desire for grandchildren had warped Kitty's mind as well.
"So you can have a test to prove that you aren't pregnant, Sherlock." she said in that matter-of-fact Kitty way. "I thought you were the smart Winston cousin." she mumbled under her breath.
"Bitch." I said while chucking the box at her head.
She slowly turned her head and gave me one of the scariest looks I've ever seen. "Whore." she hurled it back.
"Skank." I hit her smack dab in the middle of her forehead. We continued on like this for a few minutes until she finally got her lazy ass off the couch and shoved me in the bathroom.
After I took the test, I left it in the bathroom and chilled with Kitty on the couch. "Hey." Kitty said after a few minutes. "Shouldn't you go get the test and hide it, so Dimwit doesn't see?"
"True." I said and headed to the bathroom. I picked up the test and my eyes glanced quickly over the result. Positive. "Thank God." I thought to myself, not quite registering what it said. Wait! WHAT?!? I looked again and my eyes saw right. The test said positive. I felt like I was going to pass out. How is this even possible? There weren't any signs! What am I going to tell Dimitri? Will I even tell him?!? What if it's just wrong? But what if it's right?!? I gripped the counter and saw my face pale in the mirror. I had to act, and act fast. I had cracked the test in my counter gripping process so I just snapped it into two pieces completely. I put them in two separate pieces of tissue and shoved them in the bottom of the garbage. I leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath. I could feel the tears starting to roll down my face when Kitty called my name. "Jelly? Are you coming back anytime soon? I don't want to keep this on pause for forever." I wiped away my tears and put on a fake smile as I left the bathroom, and headed towards the living room.
"I hid the test really well. No one will find it." I smiled, telling the truth without telling everything. I couldn't tell her right now, could I? I don't even know if it was accurate? My mind was still a mess. "Awesome. Dim is totally going to freak out." Kitty said grinning. "Yeah he probably will." I said as I sat down on the couch, mentally planning what I was going to do.
~~~ LATER THAT DAY~~~~
It was show time. Well sort of. I had Katie's test in my pocket and still wasn't sure if I was going to pretend it was a joke or if I was going to tell the truth. Technically I would be telling the truth, but if I went through with it would be the big decision.
"Honey, you may want to sit down." I said calmly to Dimitri. As expected, a confused look crossed his face but he did it anyways. "What's going on Jels?" he asked slowly, as if afraid to know the answer. I sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed his hand. I felt panic rising in my stomach. It's now or never, I thought to myself. I looked into his eyes and said "I'm pregnant." It was if time stood still as I waited for his reaction. He looked speechless, scared and confused. I saw his face and knew I couldn't tell the truth, at least not when I wasn't sure. "April Fools!" I exclaimed on instinct. He let out a sigh of relief and grinned as he gave me a huge hug. "You really had me scared there babe." He gave me a kiss, and I said "Yeah it was a pretty good joke." all the while wondering what hole I just dug myself into.
~~~~~ LATER ON ~~~~~
I was pacing around the apartment, freaking out. I was so lost. So confused. I felt like the hugest liar in the universe. I had to talk to someone, and I knew exactly the someone I had to talk to. I knocked on Kitty's bedroom door and impatiently waited for her to answer. "What's up Jelatin?" she asked curiously. "Can I.....can we talk for a couple minutes." I asked quietly looking at the ground. "Yeah of course." she put her arm around me and we sat on her bed. "What's wrong?" Kitty asked holding my hand. That's when the tears started to come. I looked into her eyes, her face blurry from my tears. "I think..I think I'm pregnant."
Saturday, February 5, 2011
This post is brought to you by peer pressure -.-
Man I haven't posted in a long time O.o Well have no fear because Jelly is here!
I have been debating what to post about. I mean, a lot of shit has happened since I posted last. But if you were expecting a super emotional post, sorry you should probably go read one of Kitty's infamous posts ;P
This post will be random...mainly because I haven't put a lot of thought into it.
:D
I have been debating what to post about. I mean, a lot of shit has happened since I posted last. But if you were expecting a super emotional post, sorry you should probably go read one of Kitty's infamous posts ;P
This post will be random...mainly because I haven't put a lot of thought into it.
:D
- I think the Packers will win the Superbowl.
- Scratch that. I know they will win the Superbowl.
- Kitty has gotten me sucked into a Gossip Girl FB game......I don't even watch the show.
- My unicorn, Charlie, is super-duper-fantabulous!
- Chase didn't want me to tell you this, but he cried during Ya Ya Sisterhood.
- I am in love with a man named Dimitri.
- Who got hit by a car for me.
- And now has a broken pelvis.
- What has your man done for you lately? ;P
- Duran Duran is amazing.
- This post kind of sucks.
- I'm only doing this because I gave into peer pressure -.-
- Carson is a sexy beast.
- My Seventeen magazine came today. Miranda Cosgrove is on the cover.
- They have creepy stories about spring break vacations gone wrong in it.
- I'm tired.
- And hungry.
- If you made it this far, I'm proud of you :D
- I don't know what else to say.
- Goonies never say die.
- I'm sorry that this post fails.
- Richard Simmons scares yet entertains me.
- Clowns scare me as well. They need to stay out of my fricken bubble. -.-
Sooooooooooooooo yeah. That's my post. Stay tuned for a hopefully better one! Save Ferris!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)