Thursday, April 22, 2010

Insecurity

Today I spent a lot of time getting ready. I thought I would dress up for a change. I thought was looking pretty nice and had a cool new pair of shorts on. I'm thinking "Hey! I think I may have gotten over my insecurity issues! I'm feeling pretty good today. Kittay can work miracles, she is like female Dr. Phil." That is until I ran into Steve at the Curtis'. He looked me up and down, then he said with a smirk on his face " You look like shit today Jellatin and those shorts make you look fat." I didn't wait around to see if he was joking. I totally broke down and ran home crying. I know some of you may think I over-reacted or can't take a joke. Thats not the case. Its just that I can be very sensitive about my apperance, I never used to be until, well I moved to Seattle. Nobody knows this besides Kitty. I didnt want to tell everyone because I knew Dallas would want to kill the guy. In Seattle, I had this boyfriend. His name was Corey. At first he was really cool, then it turned into the typical abusive relationship. He started to become really controlling and didn't want me to talk to any guys. I stupidly thought that it was because he cared about me, was jealous of other guys and wanted to protect me. Then it got really bad. He would blow up at everything I said and did. He would call me a fat, ugly, stupid, skanky whore, etc. When I was about to break up with him, he apologized and became the nice guy again. This happened a few times and the last straw was when he tried to make me sleep with him. Luckily I got away and cut things off, but then he would keep calling me and leaving me notes that ridiculed my apperance and called me horrible things and threatened me. I got a restraining order and I haven't seen him since. Now you know where I get my insecurities from. Okay now back to real time. I ran into my house and into my room and fell on my bed. Then I heard Steve come through the front door and he called "Jellatin?" He knocked on my door and came in. When he saw me he sat down on my bed and said " Jelly! I am so sorry! It was just a stupid joke! I...I never should have said it! I'm sooo sorry!" I have never seen Steve be so apologetic in my life! It was hilarious so I burst out laughing. He gave me this wierd laugh but burst into a grin when he saw I was fine. "To tell you the truth", he said sheepishly "I actually think you look really nice today."
"Steven! Did I hear right? Did you actually compliment me?" I said in mock shock.
"Don't push it Angelica." he said.
"Oh dont even go there Randle" I said as we started making our way back to the Curtis'.
"Make me Angelicaaaaaaaa!" he called as he started running.
"Oh I will!" I called running after him.

13 comments:

  1. Jells, sorry to hear about that Corey kid. I'd totaly bash his head in if I could.
    But the end part where Steve was bein' nice made me laugh :]

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  2. I love how I'm female Dr. Phil.:D

    I'm sorry Jelly, I know how much you're hurt because I saw it in your eyes and by the way you talked when we had our conversations. But you gotta realize that you're a wonderful person despite what some douche has to say. I love you and you should love yourself too.

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  3. Haha! Jelly, I dont know if I should be sad because you had to go through that with your ex Bf. Or If I Should Be Laughing That Steve Really Ment It When He Said Sorry :D

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  4. U always look pretty jells :)

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  5. im sorry bout ur douche bag ex bf.....but you always look pretty jelly! dont let anyone think otherwise! if they do then just slap em up side the head! =D

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  6. un - Dallas fails at commenting.
    deux - Jell's. everyines right, your mega gorgeous :]
    trois - I'm still laughing over Steve's kindness.
    quatre - I'm epic with my french numbering. :D

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  7. You are epic with your french numbering. Steve's kindness shocked us all, including me :D. And thank you everyone for your very lovely comments, besides Johnny whose comment is the one of the lamest comments ever.

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  8. Every time I read this I want to kill the guy even more. Post something else so I don't have more reasons to kill him and end up in jail.

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  9. well im sorry for what happened with ur x bf im dating steve and i cant believe he was being so apologetic but u should probably go post something else cuz i wanna punch that corey guys head in

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