Fantastic News.....

This month I decided to finally grow a pair and talk to my dad about my whole...."situation". I had been postponing it in the fear that my father would murder Dimitri and use him as a cadaver for those wannabe Grey's Anatomy med school students. 

I met up with my father at the hospital cafeteria during his lunch break, and I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke. He was going to be so disappointed in me. What if he brought up my mom? I know she would be sad if she were still around and I didn't need to hear it from him too. 

After a few minutes of chit chat, I decided to slowly ease the conversation my way. "Hey dad...remember those pregnancy tests I got here for April Fool's day?" 

"Uh huh, what about them?" he asked never looking up from his salad, which was good for me so he couldn't see how close I was to throwing up all over the table.

"Uh...how...how accurate do you think they were?" I questioned trying to keep my tone light and curious.

He looked up and laughed. "Oh honey, those tests were way past expired. They were going to be thrown out, that's the only reason I let you take them. I wouldn't trust those for an accurate result. Why are you asking? Think you have a little bun in the oven?" He said the last part jokingly and with a wink. I felt as if a tremendous weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I wanted to cry, scream out with joy, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I was 100% sure....aaaaaand far away from my father. :P 

I forced a laugh. "Nah just curious..a friend of mine wanted to use one of the extra ones I have, so I just wanted to be sure."

After I left, I rushed immediately to store, got a new test and got home ASAP. I waited for the test results and it felt like it was hours, though in reality it was only a few minutes. I nervously glanced at the results and started to tear up as soon as I realized what it said: negative. I shakily picked up the phone to call Dimitri at work. "Hey babe, I have some fantastic news to tell you.........."

April Fools

April Fools Day. The one day where the Two-Bits of the world have an excuse to pull stupid pranks. It's also the day where the girlfriends of the world, like moi, prank the shit out of their amazing boyfriends because we can always withhold sex if they don't forgive us :D

So I needed a good prank, a prank that would overshadow everyone else's. Naturally, I went to the great Miss Kitty for her wise advice and guidance in the art of creative pranking. [Sidenote: Kitty, are you interested in the 'joke-itorial arts'? Please tell me you get that reference. :P ]

After a few minutes of brainstorming, we came up with the rather simple master plan:

1st) Have Katie pee on a pregnancy test
2nd) Tell Dimitri it's my test.
3rd) Enjoy how freaked out he gets.
4th) Sadly have to end the joke, and admit the truth. (How long I waited would have to be determined on the spot.)

So everything went fine at first. Katie peed on the test, and after she left Kitty tossed one at me. "Pee on it." she demanded, her eyes never leaving the Friends marathon that was on TV.

"....Why?" I asked cautiously, wondering if Grandma Liz's desire for grandchildren had warped Kitty's mind as well.

"So you can have a test to prove that you aren't pregnant, Sherlock." she said in that matter-of-fact Kitty way. "I thought you were the smart Winston cousin." she mumbled under her breath.

"Bitch." I said while chucking the box at her head.

She slowly turned her head and gave me one of the scariest looks I've ever seen. "Whore." she hurled it back.

"Skank." I hit her smack dab in the middle of her forehead. We continued on like this for a few minutes until she finally got her lazy ass off the couch and shoved me in the bathroom.

After I took the test, I left it in the bathroom and chilled with Kitty on the couch. "Hey." Kitty said after a few minutes. "Shouldn't you go get the test and hide it, so Dimwit doesn't see?" 

"True." I said and headed to the bathroom. I picked up the test and my eyes glanced quickly over the result. Positive. "Thank God." I thought to myself, not quite registering what it said. Wait! WHAT?!? I looked again and my eyes saw right. The test said positive. I felt like I was going to pass out. How is this even possible? There weren't any signs! What am I going to tell Dimitri? Will I even tell him?!? What if it's just wrong? But what if it's right?!? I gripped the counter and saw my face pale in the mirror. I had to act, and act fast. I had cracked the test in my counter gripping process so I just snapped it into two pieces completely. I put them in two separate pieces of tissue and shoved them in the bottom of the garbage. I leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath. I could feel the tears starting to roll down my face when Kitty called my name. "Jelly? Are you coming back anytime soon? I don't want to keep this on pause for forever." I wiped away my tears and put on a fake smile as I left the bathroom, and headed towards the living room. 

"I hid the test really well. No one will find it." I smiled, telling the truth without telling everything. I couldn't tell her right now, could I? I don't even know if it was accurate? My mind was still a mess. "Awesome. Dim is totally going to freak out." Kitty said grinning. "Yeah he probably will." I said as I sat down on the couch, mentally planning what I was going to do.

~~~ LATER THAT DAY~~~~
It was show time. Well sort of. I had Katie's test in my pocket and still wasn't sure if I was going to pretend it was a joke or if I was going to tell the truth. Technically I would be telling the truth, but if I went through with it would be the big decision.

"Honey, you may want to sit down." I said calmly to Dimitri. As expected, a confused look crossed his face but he did it anyways. "What's going on Jels?" he asked slowly, as if afraid to know the answer. I sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed his hand. I felt panic rising in my stomach. It's now or never, I thought to myself. I looked into his eyes and said "I'm pregnant." It was if time stood still as I waited for his reaction. He looked speechless, scared and confused. I saw his face and knew I couldn't tell the truth, at least not when I wasn't sure. "April Fools!" I exclaimed on instinct. He let out a sigh of relief and grinned as he gave me a huge hug. "You really had me scared there babe." He gave me a kiss, and I said "Yeah it was a pretty good joke." all the while wondering what hole I just dug myself into.

~~~~~ LATER ON ~~~~~

I was pacing around the apartment, freaking out. I was so lost. So confused. I felt like the hugest liar in the universe. I had to talk to someone, and I knew exactly the someone I had to talk to. I knocked on Kitty's bedroom door and impatiently waited for her to answer. "What's up Jelatin?" she asked curiously. "Can I.....can we talk for a couple minutes." I asked quietly looking at the ground. "Yeah of course." she put her arm around me and we sat on her bed. "What's wrong?" Kitty asked holding my hand. That's when the tears started to come. I looked into her eyes, her face blurry from my tears. "I think..I think I'm pregnant."

This post is brought to you by peer pressure -.-

Man I haven't posted in a long time O.o Well have no fear because Jelly is here!




I have been debating what to post about. I mean, a lot of shit has happened since I posted last. But if you were expecting a super emotional post, sorry you should probably go read one of Kitty's infamous posts ;P




This post will be random...mainly because I haven't put a lot of thought into it.

:D

• I think the Packers will win the Superbowl.
• Scratch that. I know they will win the Superbowl.
• Kitty has gotten me sucked into a Gossip Girl FB game......I don't even watch the show.
• My unicorn, Charlie, is super-duper-fantabulous!
• Chase didn't want me to tell you this, but he cried during Ya Ya Sisterhood.
• I am in love with a man named Dimitri.
• Who got hit by a car for me.
• And now has a broken pelvis.
• What has your man done for you lately? ;P
• Duran Duran is amazing.
• This post kind of sucks.
• I'm only doing this because I gave into peer pressure -.-
• Carson is a sexy beast.
• My Seventeen magazine came today. Miranda Cosgrove is on the cover.
• They have creepy stories about spring break vacations gone wrong in it.
• I'm tired.
• And hungry.
• If you made it this far, I'm proud of you :D
• I don't know what else to say.
• Goonies never say die.
• I'm sorry that this post fails.
• Richard Simmons scares yet entertains me.
• Clowns scare me as well. They need to stay out of my fricken bubble. -.-

Sooooooooooooooo yeah. That's my post. Stay tuned for a hopefully better one! Save Ferris!

Picky Panda

Kitty and I recently embarked on a day long dress shopping adventure for her wedding.


.........Let’s just say that it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done.



After a long time of searching....and searching......AND searching, we found the
perfect bridesmaids dresses. (look on Kitty's FB for pics. Blogger doesn't like me -.-)

Then the hunt turned towards the Maid of Honors' dresses. Here's how that went.....

Kitty: "Too blue."

Kitty: "I don't like the flowers."

Kitty: "Jelly. No."

Finally I found the perfecto dress for Dawn and I. (check FB -.-)

For the grand finale, we found the most GORGEOUS dress for Kitty. Let's just say she will look quite sexy in it ;P

Lesson of the day: KitKat Sarah Curtis is one picky panda.

P.S. Sorry for the lame post. Kitty made me post it. Bitch -.-

P.P.S. So I'm making her post the pics MWAHAHAHHAHAHAH! :D

P.P.P.S. Dawn if you're reading this, we need to plan a kick ass bachelorette party. :D

"I'll Be There For You"

I was thinking of what the perfect present for Kittay Katty would be. I thought and I thought and I thought. Then an idea struck me. She is always saying how she wants to move out of the Curtis house. I have been thinking about moving out myself. Then I thought who is one of Kitty's other favorite people in the world?

Two-Bitch.

So Two-Bit and I put our minds together to come up with a plan. Scary, I know.

So for weeks Two-Bitch and I searched. (Well mostly me. :P ) Then we found the perfect place. A three bedroom, two bathroom apartment that was at a reasonable price. 5 gold stars go to Jelly and her Sam Winchester worthy research!

Then I had to face the terrifying task of convincing Darry. It took about an hour of begging, telling him every single detail, and me fake crying a little to finally get him to say............YES!!!!!

As a cover I gave Kitty Rio and Seven & The Ragged Tiger (which are both Duran Duran albums :P ) and pretended that those were her real presents.

Flashforward to yesterday. During the day Two-Bitch and I put the final touches on the apartment. Actually more like me. He sat down after about 20 minutes and started eating some chocolate cake he brought with -.-

Last night we pulled up to the Curtis house and sorta maybe kidnapped Kitty :P

Once we were a couple of blocks away I put a blindfold over Kitty's eyes. "Angelica! What the hell are you doing?!?!"

"You'll see." I said mysteriously causing Two-Bit to go into one of his famous laughing fits.

We guided Kitty out of the car, into the elevator and onto our floor. Two-Bit picked Kitty up bridal style causing her to yell...a lot (I should have duct taped her mouth) as I swung open the door. Two-Bit set her down and pulled the blindfold off.

A mixture of surprise, confusion, and mainly WTF crossed Kitty's face. Grinning, Two-Bit gave her a small box. She opened it and picked up her keys to the apartment. Two-Bit and I took out ours as I said "Welcome home!"


P.S. Yeah Blogger hates me. Look on FB for pics of our new place!

Mixture of Feelings

The morning after the party at Dimitri's, I headed over to his house to hang out.

I said hi to Elena on my way up the stairs and once I reached Dimitri's closed door, I knocked. "Dimitri?" I asked, wondering if he was still asleep.

"Uh...just a second." he said oddly. 'Weirdo.' I thought to myself as I waited. A few seconds later I heard a a crash. Wtf? So I opened the door to see what was going on. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Dimitri was naked on top of some half naked chick. I can't describe in one word how I felt. I felt mad, sad, dissapointed, confused.....

I turned around and left without a word. I ignored Dimitri calling my name as I ran past a confused Elena. I was walking out the door as I heard Elena yelling something at the chick.

My eyes were blurry with tears which caused me to fumble with my keys. I was still fumbling when Dimitri ran out the door in his boxers. "Jels! Please let me explain!" he pleaded as he placed his hand on my arm. I jerked my arm away and gave him an expression that was a mixture of anger and mainly hurt.

As I opened my car door I said "Screw. You."

In The Blink Of An Eye

It's amazing how fast your life can change. One moment you're blowing off some douche at the DX, and the next that same douche is attacking you.

My story starts at the DX. I was hanging out with Steve, Dimitri, and Soda like any other day. We were having a good time, when some guy comes up to me. "Hey baby." he said obviously checking me out.

"Do I know you?" I asked giving him an 'are you freaking serious' look.

"Nah, but I'm sure you want to." the dude said as he smirked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guys starting to tense up. I looked over and rolled my eyes as if saying 'Don't worry about this guy', not wanting anything to get started.

"You look nice in that dress," he said commenting on my sundress "but I'm sure you look even better out of it."

Before the guys could kick his ass I said with the attitude of 5 thirteen year old girls, "Why don't you take your lame ass pick-up line and get the hell outta here."

Obviously he didn't like being told off by a girl because his face got real red and he looked like he wanted to smack me. But he saw the guys and started to walk away, but not before he muttered something to me. I swore he said "You'll regret this." but I couldn't bee too sure and just blew it off.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Not too long after that I said goodbye to the guys and headed home.

As I drove, I played some Backstreet Boys and sang along. If only I knew what was waiting for me home then. I would've turned around and taken up Dimitri's offer of waiting for him to get done with work and hanging out at his place. But, all I knew was that the Backstreet Boys reunion on Oprah was waiting for me on the DVR list.

I approached my empty house and searched for my keys in my bag. I found them just as I reached the porch. Just as I had unlocked the door someone grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth as they shoved me into my house. I turned around expecting it to be Two-Bit or someone playing a joke on me. It wasn't. It was the douche from the DX and he had the scariest look on his face, a look I'll never forget.

My breath caught in my throat and I bolted to the stairs. He grabbed my foot and my nose smacked onto one of the steps. I could taste blood in my mouth as he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall. "Just where do you think you're going baby?" he asked viciously as his hands dug into my arms. He took my purse and chucked it into the living room causing all its contents, including my phone, to scatter across the room. I kneed him in the groin as an escape attempt.

"Big mistake." he growled as he took me and hurled me into the living room, my side colliding with the wooden desk. I tried to ignore the searing pain as I looked for something to throw as he charged towards me. I found some paperweight but missed by mile as the pain in my side rapidly increased as soon as I raised my arm. He grabbed my shoulders and smashed my head into the mirror. I was seeing stars as he said "You just don't learn do you?" I tried stabbing him with a piece of the broken glass but he threw me aside as if I were as light as a feather.

I heard a huge crack as I landed on my left wrist. I screamed in pain as he stood there laughing, a maniacal look in his eyes.

God, I was trying so hard to think of an escape but the pain was pushing me to the brink of blacking out. My thoughts were becoming increasingly blurry as I spotted my phone, just a few feet from me. He seemed to spot it at the same time as I did. I lunged for it and was just a few inches away from grabbing it when he tackled me and slid the phone across the room. He flipped me onto my back and pinned me. "I think you need to be taught a lesson." he growled with a wicked look in his eyes.

..........Well, you're smart enough to figure out what happened next.........

I fought back, God did I fight. Every time I screamed for help or tried to hit back, he just hit me twice as hard as the last time. That wasn't the worst pain I felt at that moment. It hurt like.......I can't even compare that pain to anything I've ever felt before. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Over and over and over again. The pain increased every time and the sick bastard enjoyed it.

When he decided he was done, he kissed my forehead and delivered a final punch to my already throbbing head. The sound of the door slamming seemed so far away as I layed on the floor of my living room, beaten and violated.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes, I mustered enough strentgh to roll over. With my blurred vision I located my phone across the room. I tried standing, which was a stupid idea. I ended up crawling, supporting my hurt wrist and leaving bloody handprints with my good hand.

I grabbed the phone, and called the first person I could think of. I sat shivering & shaking as the phone rang, praying that he wouldn't come back. "Hey Kitty," I said with a hoarse voice from screaming "could you.....could you come over?"